Although in e-mail my doctor and I have talked about the need for pain management, we have not addressed it squarely because the other disease issues seemed to take pre-eminence. Tomorrow I will see him with two main questions in mind: how to rule out amyloidosis (is it even possible?) and a plan for the pain. I feel as if someone is continually scratching their fingernails on my nerve. And you know that feeling you have when a part of your body has "gone to sleep" and then the prickly feeling as it comes back? The right side of my tongue is forever in that state along with nerve twitches and numbness. Ache, like a thousand toothaches, has spread up my face to include my nose and cheek. No wonder I have a persistent headache.
Back to exhaustion. Saturday Denise and I spent the afternoon with dear friends Lisa and Spiro from Albany. We enjoyed every minute of it. When they left I turned to Denise and said I had to go to bed immediately. I was in pain and exhausted from fighting it back. Every two hours I took 400mg of Advil and lots of the gabapentin. About three hours later I began to feel human again and we stayed up to watch some videos for awhile until we fell asleep. I slept 12 hours!
I still have a story to post, one I started but have yet to finish, and I am not know sure how it should end. It is about a spiritual experience I had in September that put me on the road to the second MRI, the surgery ... and now this. I wanted the "this" to be more definite, a common retelling of how one meets obstacles in life with fortitude and courage and rises above it. Granted, those kind of stories are overrated. I am now in the midst of an experience that calls for real strength, not the cheap temporary kind, but something that demands genuine depth and endurance.
I'm still working on it.
3 comments:
Hello Tracy!
I'm sorry to hear how painful your recovery continues to be. Pain terrifies me. Reading about your ups and downs reminds me though of the value and importance of the years of experience I've gained. I find that aspects of my life I never gave a thought to are suddenly central to getting through new experiences I never imagined I'd ever have. Our lives do prepare us to face and conquer challenges we can't believe we could surmount. You and your struggle with the amyloid amply demonstrate this and give me hope that I'll be able to cope with what comes my way.
By sharing this experience with us, you add your strength and your insight to our repertoires too! Thank you for that.
I don't recall that you have mentioned strategies for pain management such as acupuncture and awareness meditation. You may well be including them in your mix, but in case you are not, I would recommend both. They may not work miracles, but they may be effective to a degree that would surprise you. One depends on the expertise of the practitioner (the acupuncturist). The other depends on your own abilities, which grow very slowly through practice. It takes time to learn to dissociate from pain. So I hear. I think I better go practice now...
Love to you and Denise.
Georgia
Tracy,
I am so sorry to hear that the pain has not subsided. I have been thinking about you over the holidays and am glad to hear that you have been able to spend them with friends and family!
I hope you continue to get some good rest (wow - 12 hours!) and that you are able to find a way that will manage the pain for you while you heal.
Please take care and know that I am thinking of you!
Georgia and Lisa, what a wonderful surprise to find your comments here, thank you!
Coincidentally, I went to an acupuncturist today, my first time ever. Two days ago I started some new medication and it knocked me for a proverbial loop. I felt completely outside of myself and sick physically. Yesterday I retaliated by stopping everything. That is about the third time I have done that, almost always to regret it. I left a message with a renown Chinese physician who practices here in Ithaca, she called me this morning and I was there in two hours, snow storm notwithstanding!
The treatments did not hurt and besides I would do just about anything to mitigate the pain. Whether they help or not is yet to be revealed; I go back on Friday for another treatment. In the meantime I am reviewing all the medication prescribed for me and it is truly a dangerous amount and combination.
I hope you are both enjoying the evening. Here Lisa and I are experiencing a solid winter storm, nothing too extreme but nothing to ignore completely either when making travel plans. And we envy you in the warmer climes of Texas, Georgia!
Happy New Year!
Tracy
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